E-M-O Speedwagon

Here is the thing about music.... all music begins in the death or wake or reaction to another style of music. There will ALWAYS be a type of music someone doesn't like and their natural instinct is to make something very opposite. (This is exactly why any teenage girl with a tiny backpack is asked "what kinda music do you like?" they say "...everything....except for country.")I grew up all over the south but I spent high school in Floriduh and I was pretty deep into the hardcore and indie rock scene.Seeing so many people grow and change over those years inspired my theory on the last 10 years of music.I figure it's like this.. The punk rock kids that realized that squatting really wasn't working out for them and they would eventually have to get jobs , either A- cleaned up a little bit and became indie rock kids , discovering that for free time at their cubicle they could photoshop pics for their zines, and update their Livejournal(pre blogger). OR B- cleaned up TOO MUCH and became straight edge hardcore kids. Now I'm not saying that all hardcore kids came about this way . NO NO NO. Usually they are recruited early on before they are old enough to buy drugs or drink anyways. But there are a sweet few that come about this way. Then somewhere along the way their girlfriend
( that none of their friends liked anyways) dumps them , of course it was long term...cause these are the guys that find a girl that is moderately hot enough to make guys down at the local record store jealous but not too hot , so that it doesn't matter how crazy she is. So now indie cred guy is all alone... he needs someone to sympathize in a way that his friends can't. He never could turn to "Adult alternative" or whatever the hell they call it , no not our guy... he needs to keep his street cred he turns to EMO, short for " This emotional hell hole that bitch left me in, and if there is a god she'll find her way back to me ....please, Cheryllll!!!!" (When I talk about emo, I mean mid 90's florida bands like Hankshaw, not that dramatic drag queen shit that 13 year olds listen to now.) Emo is the type of music that you had to hide from your friends ... but then someones little brother was going through his older brother's cds and not only saw Judge, and Rollins, but further back was some saddle creek run offs, and this little pisser decides to start something now known as Scream-o (short for " oh god what have you done bobby...no one should listen to Scream-o"). Then these guys decide that " you know what...Cheryls a bitch!! I didn't need her anyways, her friend Tracey was cute... I think she goes down to Happy days for 80's dance night...i should go try to bump into her, right after i finish burning this bright eyes cd." So is the synth pop rebirth. Once the kids meet the Tracey of their dreams it is no time before they decide to make a scene, the 80's synth stuff needs to be harder... and so starts Electro clash. So now dude and tracey can get matching bangs and ironic tees and make a big happy mess all over Misshapes. So now emo is living a happy life down in Florida , where it KEEPS being rediscoverd and will never die...like a vampire....oh yeah Florida is a hot bed for goths too...but that's another story.